There are some basic rules to remember when going to dinner at someone else’s house. Most of them are common sense, but let’s do a refresher for all those out there that might need a bit of guidance.
Rule #1: Do not discuss politics, religion, or anything controversial if you want to leave the party at a reasonable hour.
Rule #2: A hostess gift goes a long way. Never bring flowers. Wine works well. Stationary in the clearance section at Target is a good option too.
Rule #3: Never…. and I mean, NEVER…. ask how many calories are in a dish at the dinner table.
Which leads me to tonight’s story. There we were gathered around the dinner table. We had done our small talk over appetizers. It’s Cinco de Mayo which meant small chicken tacos and chips and salsa were the canapes of choice. Like a well-mannered girl, I restrained myself to eating only two of the micro-tacos whilst eye-fucking the hell out of the rest of the plate. Finally the lonely taco sat on the serving platter with everyone doing their casual, b.s. glances as if they didn’t know that the taco even existed.
For the record, why do we do that? Why doesn’t one person just swoop in there like Iron Man or the Cookie Monster and declare, “I WILL eat the last taco on the plate! HA!”. I would do a standing ovation if I ever saw such a moment. But, no. We all politely sipped our drinks while eyeing the final appetizer until the hostess gestured with a smile and asked if anyone would like the final taco. After a moment of hesitation to see who would be the “designated fatty”, I swooped in and grabbed the taco. This girl has NO SHAME when it comes to tacos, okay? 😉
After our appetizers were finished we “adjourned” to the dinner table to feast on enchiladas and southwest salad. Now, I love a drippy plate of enchiladas. The more cheese the better. I relish over the blend of homemade enchilada sauce that tingles the tip of my tongue while tasting the earthy, warm cornmeal tortillas. Mmpf! Hang on, I’m swooning over here again….
Anyway, so there we were at the table when all of a sudden the hostess says to her partner, “Honey– wait! How many calories are in these enchiladas?”. Most of us at the table were mid-bite into the meal when this moment occurred. Never did the thought of calories or waistline enter my brain as I swallowed my first mouthful down. But something overtakes the mind when you hear: how many calories are in this dish? And you know that you’re eating the same damn thing! All of a sudden everyone began to stiffen a bit. I could see backs arching as people looked in the man’s general direction as he fumbled about counting up the calories. “Uh, roughly 600 per plate” he said at last.
He might as well of spoken gibberish to me, because I shrugged to myself as I muttered, “bon appetit!” and dug into my plate. The hostess pursed her lips while calculating if she would eat both of her enchiladas or save one for tomorrow. After several hours of polite dinner chat the party was finally over. On the drive home I began to reflect upon the moment. Never, ever ask about calories at the dinner table. Enjoy your enchiladas (and eat them too). You can always go for a walk afterwards if you’re that worried. Everything in balance, my friends. Alright, that’s it for me for tonight. And until tomorrow, stay cute!
~Miss Cutie xx
I-Don’t-Count-Calories Reuben Sandwiches
Makes: 1 sandwich
- 2 pieces of hearty bread (I love rosemary sourdough as pictured here)
- 2 tablespoons of thousand island dressing
- 2 tablespoons of sauerkraut
- 1 slice Swiss cheese
- 2 slices roast beef luncheon meat, ripped into pieces
- Slather on the thousand island dressing on both sides.
- Add sauerkraut to one side.
- Rip up the roast beef into bite sized pieces and pile them on both sides.
- Add a slice of cheese to one size. Slap the sandwich together and cut in half.
- Dig in and forget about counting calories. Enjoy! 😀