This morning I’m sitting here filled with an emotion in the pit of my stomach. It is one that I wish that I didn’t have to feel. One that can be all-consuming and overwhelming: anger. Whenever I’m angry I turn inwards and become very quiet. I breathe deeply and let the anger wash over me. I mentally envision a wave of red sweeping over my body until it trickles off of my back.
Families can be complicated. I suppose if we were given the choice of choosing who we could be born to, many of us would switch our choices. I would be first in line to cash in my token for a better father. One who wasn’t so narcissistic and so consumed with himself. One who would call to check up on how I was doing. And one who saw me more than once every decade. I would also slap a token in for a better mother. One who wasn’t so consumed on material goods. A mother who didn’t value things over people and relationships. A mother who could talk openly, honestly, and warmly, instead of using passive aggressive behavior. Yes, that would be nice.
But life isn’t like that. There is a no exchange policy to whom we’re born to.
So, we find other ways to cope. We create our own version of families consisting of people we love from every race, religion, and sexual orientation. We form networks of friends who are close enough to be considered family and we hold on tight to them. Then we thrive by keeping enough space between our biological families and ourselves. We create a life outside of their world that is private, and unique all on our own. We make space for the activities we love and we do them often.
We attend yoga classes with our best friends and gush over life, friends, children, and enjoy the gossip. We hug our families tight through the good times and bad, seeing the people that truly stick by us in the darkest of storms. Those are the people that earn the title of “family”. So, here’s to the people out there that have had to forge their own perfectly-imperfect families. Here’s to the people who didn’t strike gold when it came to the genetic lottery. I lift my glass to you, my brethren, to tell you that you’re not alone. Create the life that you dream of. Surround yourself with your own version of family, and love with all of your heart. Have a beautiful day, my friends.
~Miss Cutie xx