Staying on a Farm… and Things I Wish I Knew Beforehand [Story Time]

Hi Cuties!

Somewhere in my creative mind, I’ve always longed to live on a farm. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to learn how to milk a cow. Why I wanted to milk a cow is beyond me. I can’t even drink milk these days. Thank you, lactose intolerant stomach of mine. But still, I wanted to experience donning overalls, romping through the grass, and eating farm-fresh food that came straight from the garden. I pictured open air pastures, and deep, cool mornings. I heard the creak of rocking chairs in my mind and a cold, glass of lemonade in my hand.

I did NOT picture the sound of a rooster crowing at 5:45 in the morning! But let me explain to you how I ended up here, on a farm, for the next couple of weeks. My mother, like me, loves interior design. So, when the time came for her to renovate her kitchen, she was diving in with absolute glee. I, on the other hand, was not thrilled to be losing the kitchen. I love to cook. Her, not so much. So, in came the demo team and out went the kitchen. All that was left was the floor, walls, and a pipe for the sink. It was time to relocate to something a bit more comfortable while a team of designers rebuilt her kitchen.

The harem of hens.

After surfing Air BnB I stumbled across a small tiny house located on a farm. I felt that I had found my match. For several weeks I could live in a tiny house! A REAL tiny house! My heart burst with joy, as I browsed through the photos. The place looked so quaint and was just the right size for me. I had always envied people who threw everything to the wind and built a tiny house for a new chapter in their lives. I wanted to be those people. I slapped down my money and began packing my bags. It was time to move into a tiny house.

Now, I know that a tiny house is small. You’re probably thinking, “Duh!”. I would too. But you never really understand the full extent of living tiny until you step foot in a tiny home and realize that this is your home for the next few weeks. I turned around in the central room and blinked. “Whoa”, I thought to myself, “this is REALLY tiny!”. Still, I was excited. I was on a farm! A real farm with 50 chickens, lemon and fruit trees, and a huge garden. The couple was extremely kind in helping me get settled and then left me on my own.

So, I did what any suburban person would do as soon as they get on a farm: I plugged in my devices. Furrowing my brow, I looked at the internet signal icon. Was that one bar? Surely not, I thought. I pulled out my cell phone and held it up, much like the Verizon commercial with the man saying, “Can you hear me now?”. My eyes widened in horror. What does 3G mean and why is there a limited signal?! I pursed my lips willing myself to not have a complete panic attack. Going on the defense, and determined to make the most out of my new living situation, I drove miles back to the nearest library and rented some DVDs. People were entertained just fine before the internet, and I would do those things too. I stocked up on 10 DVDs, 5 books, and some manga just for kicks. The librarian quirked an eyebrow at me silently seeing my horde. No, I’m not stealing your media, lady…. I’m just living in a digital black hole at the moment, I thought.

After settling in with a cup of tea and a movie, I began to relax. This was nice. The pace of life was slow. Dreams of living in the rural prairies came flooding back to mind, and I smiled blissfully before dozing off to the sounds of “Lord of the Rings” and orcs. (Yes, I am a nerd). Let’s pause here for a moment. Did you know that cities are warmer than farms? Like…. a lot warmer! Yes, I hate pollution as much as the next person. But all of those buildings and electricity does provide a thermal blanket of sorts for when the night air comes blowing into town. But on a farm, it’s you and Mother Nature. I shot up out of bed and looked at the clock bleary eyed. “Why the hell is it 2 am?!” I groaned aloud and shivered. The room was freezing! I yanked on a hoodie and my jacket before passing back out in bed.

People say that roosters wake up with the sun, but apparently mine had an energy drink in the middle of the night because it was still dark when he crowed his feathers off at 5:45 am. Not to mention that roosters are LOUD! My eyes shot open again and all I could think of was roasting a chicken. “You’ve got to be kidding me” I muttered and stumbled out of bed. Squinting with annoyance I stomped out onto the 1-person porch and looked across the yard. Sure enough, Mr. Rooster was up and flapping to wake his harem of hens. I pouted, making a face at him before heading back inside. Did I mention that it was freezing?

Plopping back down on the couch I would have normally surfed YouTube or read the morning news. But in a digital black hole you’re forced to catch up on books. So, I began reading “Grey” by E.L. James. Yes, it’s the “Fifty Shades of Grey” story from Christian’s point of view. Yes, I totally turn to mush over Jamie Dornan. Don’t judge me. ❤ It quickly captivated my attention as the sun finally decided to make its debut. Living on a farm isn’t easy. As I sit here perched precariously in the only spot that I can get the weakest of signals to post this up for you, I think it’s safe to say, that I’ll be leaving my dreams of farm life behind when I check out in a few weeks’ time. 😊 I hope you all have an exciting, and Happy Friday. Stay cute everyone!

~Miss Cutie xx

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